I Am (still learning to be) Unapologetic.

I am (still learning to be) Unapologetic. - Emma Tait

I am learning to not apologize for taking up space

I am not sorry for the space I take up

I am learning to not apologize
for the purpose of placating
those who are at the mercy
of their emotions
because I am not responsible
for the reactions of others
and the only feelings I have a right and responsibility toward
are my own

I am learning to not apologize for the way that you feel about me

I am not sorry for the way that you feel about me

I will not accept your emotions as mine
even if you leave them at my door
and walk away in the middle of the night
but I understand how you got here
I know from experience how rocky this path can be
I do not judge you for trying to leave some of those heavy emotions behind
it’s just
those emotions are your map
so
you’ll have to come back for them
before you will be able to go
where you are going

I am learning not to crouch
for the purpose of helping others remain inflated
I am also learning which of my words are the sharpest
so that I can be more careful with them

I am not sorry for the space I take up

I do not need your permission
to exist as I am
this is not the same thing as arrogance
this is me honouring who I am
and the journey I have been on to get here

I am learning how to decline offers of friendship
when they come with hidden agendas
or “inflate here” requirements

I do not apologize for not returning your offer of friendship

I am learning not to apologize
when I have done nothing wrong
because that conversation brings us both down

I am not sorry that I did what I did

I am learning to be unapologetic
because every time I say
I am sorry that happened
I might as well be saying
I am sorry I happened
and I deserve better than that

I am not sorry for being here
and I am unapologetically
still learning
how to be here

Sorry
is an action word
like fireworks
a beautiful purpose
at a very specific time
but set them off in the wrong place
at the wrong time
and we all go up in flames

 

Bobbi Foster-Kelly